Kicking Back in Kauai

OK, Everyone. I want you all to go get a pen. I’ll wait…

Got it? Now take out your worry/prayer list. If my name’s on it, I want you to cross it out with a big, bold stroke. I’m FINE. A little soggy from a lot of rain but hey, I’m on the Garden Isle of Kauai. How bad can that be?

I flew here from Honolulu on Wednesday. I wanted to stay for the big luau Tuesday night. Never have I had so much fun at such a cheesy event. I’m normally allergic to touristy deals like this but it was exactly what we all needed – a party! The show was actually quite good and everyone seemed to get into the spirit of celebrating, being together and being in this beautiful state.

Kauai is my favorite Hawaiian island because of the variety of the geography, the lush abundance of flowers, and the ambiance, especially on the North Shore. You may have heard of the Na Pali coast, a strenuous but stunning hike that Buie, Scottie, Malcolm and I did about 30 years ago – yeah, they were little things then but what troopers they were. I also came here to rest after the 1996 election and came to really love it. Yes, the wonderful old Ching Young country store with the wide wooden porch has been replaced by a small shopping mall, but the people are still very laid back and the glitz of, say, Maui is at a minimum. I decided to stay at Princeville, a real treat of a luxury resort, and that turned out to be a great decision. The weather has been very rainy so I’ve been glad of the huge, gorgeous room overlooking the beach and all the amenities – a yummy, soft bed, cable TV, unlimited wireless Internet, room service on silver trays with an orchid and a huge green marble bathroom. Did I mention you could stop being worried about me now? I was planning on hiking, snorkeling, and maybe some golf but the trails are much too muddy to hike, the water too stirred up by all this weather, and the greens extremely soggy. Oh well, I’ll just have to suffer through.

Several people whom I do not know have written very complimentary emails in response to this blog and I very much appreciate their comments. It got posted on the message board even though I did not really mean for it to be public. I hope it has been helpful to family and friends of S05 voyagers. One person had a question about how we were all coping.

When I was a labor and delivery nurse, I got to see the large variety of ways that people cope when stressed. That wide spectrum has been evident in people’s reactions to this experience. I know I am not the only one that has learned something about herself, a somewhat more surprising revelation at 57 than at 20 I suppose. My reaction was a sort of freezing up for a while, just getting through it step by step. I can admit now that when everyone was told to go to the deck where the lifeboats were, I thought quickly about what I should take. My first and only thought of the possibility of death was that I should zip some ID into my coat pocket so my family wouldn’t have to go through what the tsunami victims did to identify bodies. That thought quickly gave way to the assumption that we would spend some time in the lifeboats, then be rescued by a ship, then land who knew where. I took a credit card and cash so I could function in whatever port we docked in. I took my asthma inhaler, popped a seasickness pill thinking those little boats were bound to get tossed around a lot, grabbed my water bottle and some almonds and left my room. I briefly considered taking my special family pictures taped to the mirror but by that time I was into assuming that this would last a while and then we’d be back in our rooms and I didn’t want the pictures to get messed up – and anyway I had tucked my love for you all safely away in my heart.

So that’s how I moved through it, very practically, step by step. I only cried once, the next day after I got off the satellite phone from finally reaching a member of my family, Dave, my loyal bon voyager in Vancouver. But that was very brief. What helped me cope was working in the clinic and focusing on my shipboard family, being of some use. I’ve posted their picture so you can see what a great group I have. We were having a little cookie party in my room. It wasn’t until I got to Kauai that I could check in with me and see what I needed. I’m happy to report that all this pampering and down time has done the trick. My memories have loosened up and I’m able to access how I’m feeling much better. It has really helped to have online chats with my kids and get all your wonderful emails. Please forgive me if I haven’t sent you a personal reply yet but I appreciate all your kind words of support. If it keeps raining I should get to them all by the end of the day.

For all you parents, family and friends of student voyagers who may be reading this, all I can say is to try to accept where your kids may be. Some moved quickly on, but may need to come back and process later. Others are heavy into the effects and will move through at their own pace. I’ve seen anger, blowing it off as nothing, jumpiness, persistent sadness, and anxiety, sometimes all in the same person. It’s such an individual experience. I know you will support them wherever they are in it. I know you’re offering your love and the time and space they need to heal themselves – and they will. Never have I seen such a resilient group.

We head back to the ship tomorrow and should know something soon. Whatever happens, this has already been the experience of a lifetime. Thanks again for all your love and support and for trying to be honest and positive at the same time. That’s all we really need.